Living with Cerebral Palsy 🍋🍋

Monday, 28 April 2014


By now most people will have heard the story of the Mum from London who stands accused of killing her three disabled children. It's one of the saddest news stories I have heard in a long time and when I first heard about it I couldn't stop thinking about it. I want to understand, I want to comprehend what would make a -by all subsequent accounts-loving mother kill her own children. But I can't. Much has been made by the media of course that the three children were severely physically disabled. There is an inference in each bulletin, or report, that the Mum must simply have been struggling to cope and come to terms with a genetic condition that blighted the lives of her three youngest children. Of course, I understand to a degree what those first few months and even years are like after initial diagnosis, and that's only with one child. It must be triply hard to grapple with the news that three of your children will need lifelong care. It's hard to imagine how that feels, even for mums like me. But then I read more about the story and I see photo's. The children, smiling, beautiful and strong. I discover that the Mum was part of one of the richest families in London. That she had a Nanny and a Maid and also daily carers to help her. Of course this cannot mean that her pain was any less and seeing her children go through so much was any easier than any other mum. Yet- she had so much help. It's increasingly difficult to even begin to understand what would make her think that harming her children was any kind of solution to how she felt. You can only assume she was desperate, or that she had lost her mind. I know two siblings myself with the condition these children had and they are two of the most amazing children I have ever met. Hugely intelligent and learning to be so independent now with the help of motorised chairs, they have so much to offer the world. Their Mum does not have a Nanny or a Maid or live in a mansion. She is a single parent. So I wonder what makes some people so able to cope and other's not? A myriad of reasons I guess. But the more I try to muster up sympathy for this woman and what she must have been going through to do something like that, I just can't. There are so many alternatives to what she chose to do. With the media making so much of the fact that the children were disabled, lots of people will assume she simply couldn't cope.  I can't help but feel this perpetrates the myth that people with disabled kids must have a terribly hard and depressing existence. Dare I say there has been hints in some conversations I have heard on this subject that the fact the children were disabled provides a slither of an excuse, a reason. It really doesn't. There is no reason and no excuse. Every single child born into the world has a right to existence, to life. Every life is worthwhile and important, whatever the circumstances. The fact that the very person who gave these children life was the same person who chose to take it away is the most  poignant and chilling fact.  I am sure she will suffer for the rest of her life over what she has done, as will her husband and eldest child, who has lost her three siblings  in one fell swoop.  I am sure not a day, or even hour, will go by without her thinking about it. But when I think of all the parents out there losing children who they so desperately want to hold onto and when I see the photo's in the paper of the gorgeous children just at the very start of life, I cannot feel any empathy whatsoever, rather I am simply rendered speechless. RIP lovely children, whose only crime in life was to be born to the wrong Mummy. I didn't know you at all but your story touched me deeply and I certainly won't forget you in a hurry. Let's hope if there is anybody out there in similar circumstances who feels unable to cope that they might be jolted into seeking the help they need by this absolutely tragic and heartbreaking tale.

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