Living with Cerebral Palsy 🍋🍋

Tuesday 3 June 2014

I'm melting...

A quick update on Elin- she's still poorly! She is no worse, but no better and a trip to the Doctor has confirmed there is nothing obvious causing her symptoms! He seemed to agree that the antibiotics may have upset her guts, so we'll have to look into another different kind for her in the future as that's two types that have negative effects on her! She was less sleepy today but still retching. We are trying a bit of Yakkult again as we have in the past, in order to try and replenish the good bacteria in her tummy that may have been wiped out by the Antibiotics. I am starting to struggle to see her like this day after day- it's gone on too long! She is so, so helpless. It goes without saying that no Mum wants to see their child poorly but with Elin it seems to be compounded by the fact that I cannot ask her what's wrong or gauge just how bad she is feeling. I do know that she is very brave and that we had a few almost-smiles today, which I am taking as a sign that she is feeling a bit better. However today I had the usual meltdown when Elin has been sick for more than a couple of days- the catalyst for which was the visit to the doctors this afternoon and yet another well-meaning but insensitive old biddy in the waiting room, a very stressed out Elin and some difficulty in shutting the boot with her chair inside! (I'm still familiarising myself with using her chair inside the Drakemobile!) All just a bit stressful and upsetting on top of tiredness and worry :-( I need to be harder, and I am quite hard when she is well but i just can't take seeing her poorly, it breaks my heart.  So a damn good cry was required followed by a glass of red and I don't feel so bad, I know we have been here many times before and will be many times again. I just miss that smile so much! However as soon as it returns lovely bloggers, you will be the first to know, I promise. Let's hope it's not too much longer.
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