When you're smiling....

Have just read my last blog and realised although it gives our history, nowhere do I pojnt out the pure, unconditional and all consuming love we have for Elin. When she was first diagnosed , the prognosis was full of negative's - never walk, never talk, never eat orally (she is tube fed), never see properly, never understand life as we know it (the Neuro said she would never be a 'thinking person') and never stop having fits. This is not how we see Elin. We see her in terms of positives and 'can do's'. One thing I was obsessed with in the early months of her life were smiles, because she never did. We tried everything, toys, songs, games, kisses, cuddles. I thought despite everything, if I could just get her to smile it would be unlocking a form of communication and I would know she was happy at least for that moment in time. I was desperate. I saw babies less than 6 weeks old out and about who were smiling beautiful, perfect gummy smiles. It felt like a knife in my heart. Then one day, when she was 10 months old my sister brought her a squeaky chick toy. When she heard it, she smiled. Then again. And again. It changed everything for me and proved that despite the odds you can never give up. This photo is the first smile we managed to catch on camera and I will treasure it and what it means forever.