Living with Cerebral Palsy 🍋🍋

Friday, 4 October 2013

Show me the gas and air...

I am late writing this post, I got way-layed! Nevertheless it was an important moment and I need to share it! A few weeks ago a lovely acquaintance of mine asked me to write a piece for her blog. This is a blog I have long admired and moreover, it was a blog for 'ordinary' Mummy's i.e no 'disability' focus. The author, Clemmie, is a midwife and Mummy of two and the blog features, among other things, a weekly 'birth story' . I was asked if I would mind submitting Elin's birth story and a bit about what it was like bringing up a child with disabilities. I was so pleased to be asked and I jumped at the chance. I was just so chuffed that the author of this amazing (and popular!) blog would choose to include a story like mine, which in terms of birth stories did not really end happily (in the 'ordinary' sense). Sometimes, I can feel very left out when people, inevitably and in various random situations,  discuss their birth stories. It's a kind of rite of passage, isn't it, for women. A common theme, something to laugh about and share. It's a bit like being in a club. Those who have not been through it can never know what it's like or even begin to imagine. It unifies Mothers everywhere, from discussing how helpful (or not) your partner was to the more gruesome tales of numbers of stitches and hours spent pushing. But these stories, they always end with a laugh or a wry smile, because (almost always) it turned out ok. The story had a good ending. Everybody lived happily ever after. My story is different and thus not really appropriate for light-hearted situations. It can be a bit of a conversation stopper, or more so- something I don't want to get into to fear of bringing the atmosphere down. So when Clemmie asked me to write MY story, for her blog which is being read by a lot of Mummy's but also pregnant ladies, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude that someone was including us in the whole 'birth story' situation. I was also terrified about writing a really naff piece, or a piece that would upset or worry and pregnant ladies reading it (what happened to Elin happens in about one in 1,200 births- stats which are still not low enough in my opinion). Also, I didn't really know what to include. Truth be told I could write a book about the first four weeks after Elin was born, such was the magnitude of what was happening and the amount of ups and downs. Anyway, I wrote what I could, from the heart, and Clemmie was kind enough to publish it on her wonderful blog. I was humbled to learn that she had many wonderful responses to it and I have gained a few more followers in the process, too. So, if you are a fan of blogs, follow this one. Clemmie gave me a chance to feel like our story was nothing to hide away and it meant a huge amount to me. Also- it's a  bloody good blog :-) P.S If you want to read my post, just scroll down the home page until you find it. .


  1. I read your post and thought it was beautifully written. What struck a chord with me was when you said that you could not look at Elin as you knew you would love her. Well, here's my secret, when I had Zack I was unconscious and when I came too I said I didn't want to see him, I tried to detach myself. I too, knew, that the moment I saw him, it would break my heart into a million pieces if I lost him, I tried to protect myself. That said, when I did see him, I screamed in prayer each night for some almighty force not to take my son. He didn't leave me, he fought. And for that and because I love him beyond words I will always fight for him. I sometimes feel we are walking a very similar path in more ways than one. xX


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