I think one of the worst feelings as a Mum is helplessness. It's been a bad start to the week with a fit on Monday that once again did not subside, requiring an ambulance and a fit on Tuesday which ended in A&E. And you're just so bloody helpless...there is literally nothing you can do but watch and wait and hope. Trouble is, nobody can help really, not even the best doctor you can contact, because it's a waiting game and a game of bravery and courage whilst her medicines are changing . Elin shows tremendous courage, she shows us everyday and this is where I get mine from, but it's tough to stay brave when you want to rip your heart out to stop it hurting and you would give anything for the bastard fits to leave Elin alone. But you can't reason with epilepsy, you are at it's mercy and so is she. You are helpless and as a Mum you feel hopeless and sometimes useless too. All you can do is keep going and keep smiling and keep being the best Mum you can be and not let it beat you, keep your courage. Reminds me of one of my favourite quotes:
" Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying I will try again tomorrow"