Living with Cerebral Palsy 🍋🍋

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

Today I am mostly thinking...

...That it never gets easier really, you just get more used to it never getting easier. We watched Eastenders last night and desperately tried not to get upset when the baby was born not breathing, but both failed miserably!!. It was the Mum's cries that got me and took me back to a place I never want to think of again. Stupid really, it's only a soap, they're only fictitious characters. I wish I could erase Elin's birth from my memory though, the horror of it- like in 'Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind' I wish I could choose to have that whole memory wiped because sometimes the pain of it is too much to bear. Happy ending for the Eastenders characters of course, no soap would ever dare run a storyline depicting what happened to Elin. People simply don't want to know about it. How many stillbirths/poorly babies/children are there in soaps? Exactly. Bad things happening to children /babies just doesn't make good viewing does it. Emmerdale was brave once in running the 'cot death' storyline and it was brilliantly done. But they ruined it by magically solving the mum's problem when she discovered the baby had been swopped at birth and her baby was still alive and living in the same village (ha!). Pisses me off. Its about time they started thinking outside the box and reflecting a wider society. Imagine how much better people would understand disabilities like Elin's if it was shown in a soap like Eastenders which can get 16 million viewers!! But I digress. I suppose this tirade is really owing to the fact that I heard more news today about another birth in my family group, lovely news once again but very hard to swallow. How come everyone else in the world can give birth to a healthy baby, enjoying the feeling, the excitement, the wonder, the pride???? I can only imagine what it's like to hold your newborn in your arms, feel the relief that things are ok and see the limitless future stretch before you. Why did this have to happen to us??? Nope. It doesn't matter how much of a 'good' day I'm having. It never gets any easier.

1 comment

  1. Bless you Ruth, I agree it would be a huge thing for a soap to run a story similar to yours and Elin's but think it would have to actually be written by someone who knows and i think that is only people who are going through it (or have been through it).

    I read these blogs and they really do make my heart cry for you, i wish there was more we could do to help, i love Elin and think she is such a cool lady.

    Don't have the words to say really so will just say we love you and keep writing and i'll keep reading.

    If you ever need anything just let us know.


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