Sunday, 10 March 2013
Our home is our castle
Paul asked me ages ago what I wanted to do today 9Mothers Day). I had to answer, nothing. I don't want to make plans or book a meal out. You see, pretty often our plans have to change depending on how Elin is that day and on special occasions this can serve to send me into a spiral of feeling sorry for myself (something I abhor) . It seemed easier to plan nothing and then there could be no room for disappointment, though I hate that this also serves to make me look like I'm giving in to the condition. Turns out, I was right. Totally justified in not going anywhere to celebrate Mother's day, Elin would almost deifintely not have been up for it. Saturday brought a very distressed and upset little girl, needing rescue medication before bed. Unsure what is bothering her. I prayed that Sunday would bring a better day for her, and it did, but I still wouldn't have fancied our chances keeping her peaceful while we lugged her around in the bitter cold and snow flurries. Yay me. I was right. We had aromatherapy at home and painted our nails and baked a cake, and that was my Mother's Day. Didn't have to watch her undergoing violent shakes and muscle spasms in the buggy. Didn't have to listen to her screaming in the car seat. Didn't have to struggle to eat a meal in a restaurant with her twisting on my knee because she is unable to sit in a chair. Didn't have to see the other Mummy's and their toddlers chatting away happily to them and wonder sub consciously for the millionth time what happened to my baby and who chose this path for us(and maybe this is the biggest reason of all why I didn't want to go out today. Not proud to admit it, but no point in writing a blog unless it is an honest one!) Our home is our castle, me and my girl. Sometimes, it's just all you need. Four familiar walls and zero stress. Perfick. Happy Mother's Day to all those SEN Mum's out there struggling with more than you can ever realise, enjoying more than you can ever know.
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