Living with Cerebral Palsy 🍋🍋

Wednesday, 17 March 2010

Another hospital visit...

A terrible night last night. I cannot describe to all you lucky people out there who have healthy children what it is like to wake up in the night and discover your baby having seizures in their cot. Last night Elin had a raging temperature. She was burning. It was gone midnight and I had awoken thinking it was just her usual middle-of-the-night wake up. But she practically sizzled when I touched her and though we administered the trusty old calpol immediately, stripped her of her pyjama bottoms and socks/blankets etc and mopped her poor, fevered brow, her temp was still reading 39 after an hour. Added to that was the constant spasming, twitching and seizing which invariably accompanies such a high temperature with Elin's condition. To watch her wide eyed, confused expression while her body writhed and twitched was an absolute horror. I will just never, ever get used to it. Fortunately after a few hours and some Nurofen, she was able to relax enough to sleep. I, of course lay there in the consuming darkness waiting for something bad to happen. It didn't. My alarm clock set of a seizure in her sleep, so I knew we were still in a bad position this morning. Luckily the ward were as welcoming as ever and had her diagnosed with an ear infection and back home again with antibiotics in good time (and we got to see our friends the Nurses who are wonderful and treat Elin like a celebrity) She slept practically all morning and all the way home. I put her in her cot without removing her coat or shoes, thinking she needed and frankly, deserved, a rest. She seemed a little brighter this afternoon, which was lucky as we had yet another appointment- thankfully a home visit- but still very grumpy and twitchy. I seriously cannot believe this sometimes, that this is my life, that it is her life. I tried to pray for her again tonight but I couldn't-again. Because I prayed every single night that I was pregnant that my baby would be healthy. I haven't prayed since the day she was born. I can't. I don't think there's anyone there.

1 comment

  1. Ruth, I did the same, every single day I prayed that Zack would be healthy. Don't stop. I pray every night that Zack will improve even in some teeny tiny way. And when he was in hospital with his life dangling by a thread I remember screaming my prayers that some mystery force would not take my son. God or whoever didn't. I have to hope someone is listening. xx


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