Thursday, 30 August 2012
Yikes last post was a little depressing! Really wish I updated this thing more often but good to read a post from so long ago and be able to look back and realise what I had feared didn't happen in fact, and instead we had the best summer hold ever! Elin has had an amazing time, going on holiday, visiting friends, attending a wedding, sitting in the garden (when the weather allowed) watching the Olympics (or was that just Mum and Dad??)generally being calm and relaxed and *deep breath* only having ONE seizure and NO hospital stays! Massive improvements on last year then, and that's all we can ask! So at the moment we are very happy Drake's. It's just.....(yeah you knew it was coming).....as Carrie Bradshaw would say.."I couldn't help but wonder"... ....whether certain people in my life treat Elin differently to how they might have done if she was able-bodied, if she was 'ordinary'? Don't get me wrong. We are incredibly lucky. 99% of our friends and family lavish attention on her and seem as besotted with her as we are. Obviously, things are different because they have to be. My friends and family cannot delight in the latest funny thing Elin said, they cannot take her to the park, or dance with her or do a jigsaw or interact in any 'usual' way, really. But like us, they chose to ignore this fact and they treat Elin as Elin. They love her for what she is..herself. This 99% will never know how much their attention means to me. BUT there is a tiny minority and they think that because Elin is Elin that they don't have to try as hard. That they can go from one week to another without seeing her, without calling. Are you telling me if she was an 'ordinary' four year old girl,(as oposed to extraordinary, which she is) that they would not call to hear her voice? They would not be talking to her down the phone? Would not be coming round for a hug, to play with her, to ask her what she is doing in school, what she's been up to? I know none of that can be done. I know it's shit. How do you think I feel? How many things do you think I want to do with Elin that I can't? But how is it ever ok to give in, how is it ok to stay away, to not bother? You will tell yourself it doesn't matter because Elin doesn't know any different. I disagree with that anyway, but even so. I know. I know the difference between carrying on and giving in. I know which of my friends and family carried on and I know who's given in. And I won't ever forget it either. But ultimately, if you cut yourself off from Elin there's only one person missing out. And it's not Elin.
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