Beat the birthday blues....

Quick update: Elin had the most amazing birthday, she had two parties, 60+ cards, £150, 38 guests at her birthday BBQ and countless presents. She was happy, smily and relaxed and a good time was had by all. What a way to beat the birthday blues!! She is *touch wood* havin a good week and we hope will continue to do so! Life feels pretty good right now- I'm sure the fact that Paul and I have 6 weeks off is helping a great deal...not having to rush here and there, hardly any hospital appointments, it's alllllllllllll good my friends!! Yeeeee Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!!!!!!!!!

Birthday Blues?

Elin is 2 tomorrow. Huge cause for celebration, obviously (and believe me there will be celebrations she's having two parties for goodness sake!) but I would be lying if I didn't say I had mixed emotions. Extremely bittersweet memories. The sounds and smells of the maternity ward, the labor, the pain of course!, the expectation, the excitement. Then, she was there. And it wasn't right and nobody was smiling and they took her strait to the resus table and the midwife's face. God, her face, it was white as a sheet. When the doctors ran in like something off the television. I knew she had gone, my baby who I hadn't even seen. I knew she was hovering between life and death. And they worked and worked like ants until a triumphant exclamation "we have a heartbeat". And they lifted her to whisk her to intensive care and the life support machine and they said take a look, take a quick look, Mum. And I couldn't. I couldn't look at her I was terrified, petrified to see her. And words kept coming out of my mouth and I could hear myself but it wasn't me speaking. Then she was gone and so were they and the midwife had taken her hands away from her face and it was over. My baby had been born, I didn't see her or touch her, she was gone to a room of wires and beeps and we were left alone. I told Paul to call my Mum and that's the last I remember. Whole thing no more than 6 or 7 minutes. And in that 6 or 7 minutes, a lifetime worth of change, irreversible and complete.

My little sweet pea has a pod!

Well, today the P-Pod arrived, it was in the back garden when I got home like some kind of mother-ship waiting to be boarded! Elin has been in it now for well over an hour, even fell asleep in it! But I confess I feel this is more to do with the fact that she seems to not be herself today, is completely listless and twitching constantly (so different to yesterday:-() and therefore cannot really be bothered to fight against being put in a chair for once (Elin believes all chairs are evil, which she proved by christening said P-Pod within 5 minutes of being put in it, praise the lord for vanish stain remover!). It is bigger than I remember but she certainly looks comfy in it, I hope she grows to like it. It could not have arrived at a better time, as she has been chokig continuously today and I would have struggled to leave her lying down for even a second. All hail the P-Pod!! (For now. Updates will follow) x